Writing Log 1B

“Real Men Don’t: Anti-Male Bias in English” by Eugene August was talking about how males in our society are looked down upon because of the way we categorize them and their actions. Men are seen as the grimy ones in each relationship because they are more commonly the tougher ones who aren’t scared to do anything. Eugene August wants us to believe that the stereotypes towards males in our society are harmful to them and their masculinity. In the other reading, “There is No Unmarked Woman”, by Deborah Tannen has a different view towards males and women. In this essay, Tannen is talking about how a woman cannot be unmarked like a man. In other words, a male doesn’t have to live up to all the things women have to. Women when getting dressed think they are just getting dressed in what they feel like wearing, but didn’t know that people will be judging them based on what they are wearing. In this essay I feel like Tannen is saying that men have it easier in life, whereas Eugene August is saying that males have a hard life.

One on the “hotspots” I chose to talk about from Eugene August’s essay was “A boy quickly learns that, while it is usually acceptable for girls to be tomboys, God forbid that he should be a sissy” (Project 132-133). This “hotspot” stuck out to me because when thinking of a girl being called a tomboy, I realized that girls don’t take that offensive. When a guy is being called a sissy, it is offensive to them because it questions their masculinity. Guys are looked at to be the stronger of the sexes, and when someone calls a boy a sissy, that means that they are not strong. People can be called a sissy when they don’t meet the expectations of their friends or people they may come in contact with. This is a strong message because if guys are continued to be called names, then it can hurt them in the long run. The other “hotspot” I chose to talk about from this essay was, “As the nursery rhyme tells children, little girls are made of “sugar and spice and all that’s nice,” while little boys are made of “frogs and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails,” (Project 133). If we are talking about how male stereotypes can be harmful to males in the future, then maybe we should be taught these nursery rhymes which teach as kids that mean are slimy. I remember when I was younger and my dad told me this nursery rhyme (I grew up with my dad my whole life, my mother didn’t have custody of us), we even had a magnet on our fridge that said this too. When children are younger they believe everything that they are told, whether it is true or not. Being gullible at a young age and hearing these things doesn’t help because when they grow up they are going to remember what they were taught by their parents.

When I was reading the other essay, I was confused at first. A “hotspot” I chose to talk about from this essay is “The men’s styles were unmarked”, (Project 141). Deborah was at a work conference and she began to realize that she was scrutinizing only the women and what they looked like. The men were “unmarked”, this meaning that men don’t have to worry about what they look like and what clothes they are wearing and what message that tells people. “There is no unmarked woman”, (Project 142). When women get up in the morning and get ready for the day, little do they know that people are going to be judging them based off of their appearance. The type of clothes women wear say something about them, tight clothes say a women wants attention, while baggy and loose clothes put off the message that the women doesn’t care for herself. Whether or not these messages are true, people perceive them to be the truth. Women don’t have the option to be standard there is no haircut that is standard for a women, when people look at a woman’s hair cut they can talk about the length, whether or not there are highlights or whether the girl has layers. For a man, I agree that yes there is a standard male and they don’t have to work as hard on their appearance that we women have to.

When thinking about a moment in my life when I felt I didn’t fit in, was when I was 7 years old with my brother and his friends. We were all outside about to play a game of kickball. Nobody wanted me on their team because they felt that I was not going to be a good teammate simply because I was a girl. They viewed me as too young and weak, that I wouldn’t be able to kick the ball far enough to get a homerun. When the team picking began I was so nervous because I was already known as “Scott’s little sister”, no one called me by my name just the little sister. Everyone else got picked and then it came to me, I ended up being on my brothers team because he had to pick me or else no one would. It was sad to me to know that nobody wanted me on their team just because I was a girl and they were all boys. My brother isn’t even that much older than me, about two years older, so it wasn’t that he knew more about the game than me. When I was in this situation I was not in danger or anything, but it hurt to know that because I was a girl, the other kids thought I couldn’t do anything besides play with Barbie’s. Girls can do anything that guys can do, sometimes not to the same extent but in some cases even better. Bases on this experience I felt as though I wasn’t capable of doing the same things my brother and his friends could do. No longer would I try and play games with them outside, I would just sit and my room and play with myself. When looking back at this experience I realized that I am capable of doing anything anyone else can do if I put my mind to it. Since the day I was born, I was being compared to the other kids in my family. When my aunts and uncles would compare me to other people, I would become sad because I am my own person, and do things the way I want to do them. Another time in my past where I felt in the wrong place was when I was constantly being compared to my cousin Lanissa. Lanissa and I were both blonde hair blue eyed dancers. Lanissa was older than me and had been dancing longer than me, but when I reached the competition stage, all of her friend would call me “Lanissa’s cousin”. They wouldn’t call me Amber because they only knew me as her cousin. Even though I was just as good of a dancer as her, I was not allowed to be in any of her classes. At home, every Sunday was family day and everyone would come over to our house and eat. People would always compare me to Lanissa and say that she was skinnier than me or had longer hair than me. All of this comparing me to Lanissa stuff made me very hesitant to like Lanissa as I was growing up. When we both had gotten to our teenage years, we were not nice to one another because all we knew what to do was to compete with each other and to try and outdo one another, even until the day Lanissa committed suicide. The night Lanissa committed suicide I told my dad I didn’t want her living with us anymore because I hated her. The next morning I woke up to police officers asking me if a picture of a girl hanging was her. To this day I feel horrible for the way I acted towards her, and I know that if she were still living I would apologize for everything I said or did to her. I think about her daily and her taking her own life has changed the person who I am today.