Hotspots 1 & 2 & personal experience

The main point of the first author is that sexism and sexist language does not only affect women. Even though women are commonly thought of as the abused or unequal sex men might be the ones that have the harder time.

The main point of the second author is that women aren’t unmarked and that there is no typical woman. She mainly argues that women do have a hard time and that they feminists and laws that are unfair to men shouldn’t be considered male bashing because there are legitimate reasons for them. For men you can be a “typical guy” but for a women there is always a certain way to describe her. For instance a man with a buzz cut, wearing jeans and a t-shirt you can’t assume that much of him whereas a woman wearing tight clothing or a low cut shirt is assumed to be looking for a good time.

One of the parts of the first reading that stood out to me the most was paragraph 25 on page 135. “If he does not, he will be labeled as impotent. While it is sexist to call a woman frigid, it is acceptable to call a man impotent” “the sex manuals are ready to warn him that if he reaches orgasm before a specified time, he is guilty of premature ejaculation.” This idea really seems quite unfair to me as it hold men to a higher standard when it comes to what gender is supposed to approach the other. It also makes a good point about who has the ultimate liability in sex. While not wanting to go into detail, it is considered a problem that is the man’s fault if he is unable to please the woman or if he orgasms too soon. Women are capable of being sexually bad or having sexual shortcomings too, such as once having heard a friend refer to someone as a dead fish, because they didn’t participate that much. It is unfair to call men sexist for ways in which women are treated differently and then not admit to anything affecting men as being sexist towards men. It is hypocritical to say you need to treat women equally and hold them to the same standard as men, and continue to hold prejudices against men and get angry at them when they don’t treat you in a chivalrous way as if they you can’t open a door for yourself.

The other part of the reading that stood out to me the most was paragraph 27 on page 136. “The law has been particularly obtuse in recognizing fathers as parents, as evidenced by the awarding of child custody to mothers in 90% of divorce cases.” “In one case a father’s petition for custody of his four-year-old son was denied because, as the family court judge said, “Fathers don’t make good mothers.” This paragraph really bothered me, because I find it hypocritical for men to be accountable for child support, but not having any choice in what to do with the child, such as whether they should have the child or have an abortion, or who the child lives with if the father does want to raise him. For them to hold fathers just as accountable when it comes to supporting the child, and then not treating them as an equal parent is not fair at all. Not to mention it ridiculous for women to say we’re sexist for saying women are typically the home maker when they themselves say things like “Fathers don’t make good mothers”. It’s just about as stupid as how it is seen as racist for white people to say nigga and not racist for black people to say nigga.

For the second reading I did not really agree with the statement on page 142 paragraph 16 that says “There is no unmarked woman” or how there are unmarked styles “like the men’s”. If she is trying to say that men dressed up in suits aren’t marked I think she would be wrong because you could always label their style as “business men”. Just like how a guy’s style can be expressed by calling him jock, fratty, emo, gothic, hipster, nerd, and other similar terms. If you are going to say that there is such a thing as an unmarked man, I would say I think there is a typical unmarked woman, whom I would consider as a stay at home wife that takes care of kids, cooks, and does the laundry. Although to say that would make people consider me sexist despite how much more often that is the case with women rather than men.

The second reading that stood out to me was paragraph 17 on page 142 that says “there is no woman’s hairstyle that can be called standard”. I think that there is a standard hairstyle for women, and that they just don’t realize it, because women are different men in that they take in the little details that men don’t. I couldn’t say anything about the differences between most girls hair, and I consider them having there hair in a ponytail being unmarked or typical. I think women are just being self conscious because I sometimes can’t even remember a girl’s hair color and especially eye color much less what style her hair was unless it was absolutely ridiculous and stood out.

There was a time when I was aware of not fitting in because I didn’t fit my prescribed role exactly as I should. Men are usually thought of as being the party responsible for the check when they go out to dinner with a girl, but I am usually running pretty low on money seeing as I’m an unemployed college student, so I have to pick and choose the times I pay for both the meals and the tip. One time a girl asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with her, and I told her that since I didn’t have flex I had to wait a couple hours till I could swipe a meal again. Instead of just waiting to go eat a meal we’ve both already paid for she suggested we go to Applebee’s. At this point I told her I didn’t have a car and she said it was fine because she did. What ended up happening was she showed up driving a 2010 mustang and saying how Ulysses S Grant was like her 5^th generation grandpa, or something along those lines how she was related to him. She seemed pretty loaded so I didn’t feel bad about not paying for a girl’s meal for once, although I did feel a tiny bit bad when she offered to pay for my meal. I felt a little bit of shame when I didn’t drive or pay for dinner since I’m used to doing that, but I saved $15 for the cost of the meal so I’m still glad it happened. She was pretty good looking so I had a hot rich girl to lose by not paying, because I was afraid it would affect her opinion of me in a bad way. Although apparently I was right about her being loaded and not caring, because she came back and we watched a movie after dinner rather than just leaving. I saw myself in a different light after that and I don’t feel as bad about not paying for things for girls anymore since from experience I’ve noticed there parents typically give them a lot more money to spend than mine give me.

Tori-Hotspots

1. Hotspots

- “In addition, because the body is often raised primarily by females in the virtual absence of close adult males, his grasp of what is required of him to be a man if often unsure.”

(pg 132, Par.2, August)

This quotation caught my attention because I felt like August unknowingly used a bias about females in it that helps disprove his point. He is trying to prove a point throughout the whole essay stating that men are the victims of stereotyping, not the enemies, when he himself just made a common stereotype that a child is most likely raised by a woman.

- “A woman who kills her male partner can plead the “Battered Women’s Syndrome”, a man who kills a violent female partner cannot plead the “Battered Man’s Syndrome.”

(pg 131, par.1, August)

This quotation along with many others throughout the essay interested me because it really opened my eyes to how many double standards there are within our legal system. I do agree with August when it comes to situations like the one above because no one should get away with murder because of their gender.

- “For men no make-up is unmarked.”

(pg 142, par. 5, Tannen)

I found this quotation interesting because Tannen makes the point that no matter what a woman wears on her face, she is always marked, meaning she is judged for wearing make-up or for not wearing it, but a man is not. When was the last time a man was judged for not putting make-up on?

- “He invites men who doubt this to lift up their shirts and contemplate why they have nipples.”

(pg 144, par. 3, Tannen)

I though this quote was very humorous and did make you truly think of the question asked; why do men have nipples? This very well might be true that a male is a modified version of a female, like stated in the essay, and I never have heard of that theory before so I found this very interesting and entertaining!

Writing Log 1B

My name is Ellis Battista and this is my personal reflection followed by my hot-spots.

A moment in my life I have felt I did not fit in was when I decided to join a school play. None of my friends were in it, and they all constantly made fun of me for it. It got to the point where I almost quit because of all the jokes and names they would call me. The all went to the play after the few months of me practicing for it and in the end they told me it actually was not “gay” and it was pretty cool.

One hotspot I found in this story was on page 142, when the author said “Being a male is the unmarked case”. The reason I liked this quote is because I believe it is true. It is nearly impossible to be a marked man in today’s society and not get bias toward you. Men do not have many chances to “mark” themselves and the ones who do are looked at differently in many cases.

Another hotspot I like in this story was on page 145, and said “some days you just want to get dressed and go about your business. But if you’re a woman, you can’t, because there is no unmarked woman.” I like this quote because it is almost opposite of what is said about men. With men, it is very hard to be “marked”, but with women it is very normal to be “marked” and is actually not normal to be “unmarked.” In society, a woman is looked at as lazy or like she does not care if she is not “marked” enough or “marked” with the right things.

One of the hotspots that were noticed in this story was on page 131. The author stated that “A woman who kills her male partner can plead the Battered Woman’s Syndrome; a man who kills a violent female partner cannot plead it. That is simply unfair. That makes you feel that we think women are incapable of hurting her spouse and that men are the only ones who do it. Another hotspot that was found was on page 134, it states that “when not enjoined to be all boy, or our young lad will be urged to be a big boy, be a brave soldier, and to be a man. This is something that affects every male. If always happens and usually the male will do something stupid or take whatever is causing the taunts just because he has to be masculine in society.

Writing Log Hotspots

The first “hotspot” that I selected was the following: “A woman who kills her male partner can plead the Battered Woman's Syndrome, a man who kills (or even defends himslef against) a violent female partner cannot plead the Battered Man's Syndrome.” (page 131, paragraph 8). I found this to be particularly interesting, mainly for the reason that it is quite unfair. This idea seems to have been built upon the notion that men are the aggressors and women are the victims, which Eugene August demonstrates is often not the case. To me, the frustrating thing about this is the fact that it does not consider the concept of the woman being the aggressor and the man being the victim. Therefore, it provides the woman with the opportunity to use this to her advantage by simply claiming that the male had beaten or abused her in some such way. It also does not legally give the male a chance to defend himself in the event that a woman abuses or even beats him. I feel that this demonstrates that some women are taking advantage of this concept in an attempt to put the male in a bad light and then switch roles with them. I agree that women should be treated as equals to men and given the same rights and opportunities. However, I feel that this is an example of women working to surpass men and become the dominant gender, which I do not agree with.

Next, I chose the following “hotspot”: “Lacking a favorable or even neutral term to describe the boy who is quiet, gentle, and emotional, the English language has long had a rich vocabulary to insult and ridicule such boys-mama's boy, molly-coddle, milksop, muff, lightweight, twit, softy, cream-puff, pantywaist, weakling, weenie, Miss Nancy, and so on.” (page 133, paragraph 17). I feel this demonstrates that the social norm for males follows the typical male stereotype, in the sense of being strong, tough, and outspoken. Although many men fit this description, there are also many who do not. There are males who are kind, gentle and soft-spoken, though they are really no less of a man for that. However, society seems to cast them off and label them as being inferior simply as a result of their characteristics and personality. I disagree with this notion and think that it is wrong to label males as anything other than a male and to discriminate against “weaker” men.

I chose to discuss the twentieth paragraph on page 143 as my first “hotspot”. I think it is interesting that men only have the option of “Mr.”, while women have three options. I think that this definitely goes along with the notion that men can be “unmarked” while women are always “marked”. I think that this also demonstrates that women really are more complicated than men. However, this complication is not a matter of skill, ability, or even interest, but rather of how a woman expresses herself as opposed to a man. I think that this fact reveals something about women and men as genders.

For my second “hotspot” I found the bit about the species that produces only females in paragraph 26 of page 144 to be quite interesting. I think that it is intriguing that other species, such as the whiptail lizard, see females as being the dominant gender. This is mainly because the female can reproduce on it's own and is the child-bearing gender of the species. I think it is interesting that in our species, the female is also the child-bearing gender, yet the male is often seen as being the dominant gender.

Intro

Hello, my name is Brendan Trepal. I am a Video Production major here at Ohio University. I enjoy making movies, playing guitar, running and hanging out with friends.

Log 1B

The first hotspot for me was on page 128 when the author described patriarchal societies and the common view of them. I find it interesting that this view is commonly accepted despite there being almost no support that men work to ensure that women don't gain power. The thing I find most peculiar is that there is any support at all for this theory, which I feel comes from the Gender Feminists out there. I'm not denying that there were patriarchal societies in the past but to suggest that the world is still like that is foolish, as women have equal rights to men in most developed societies today. The next hotspot that caught my attention was the section about rape on page 131. I found it quite insulting that people commonly agree that rape can only be committed by males and is considered “the universal crime against women”. The idea that only females can be the victims of rape is simply wrong, as the book clearly states that men are frequently raped in prison. I find that rape is more often a tool used by Gender Feminists to support their belief that all men are evil. If Gender Feminists are still fighting for equal rights, which I feel they already have, then they have to accept rape as a crime that women can commit against men. This is very similar to the idea that child and spouse abuse can only be caused by men, when it is more likely that child abuse is caused by women. It also upsets me that there are shelters set up for battered women but none set up for battered men. I'm not saying that these shelters are a bad thing, just that the Gender Feminists seem to only want the positive rights men have without the obligations that men have such as the draft.

The first hotspot I found in “There Is No Unmarked Woman” when the author mentioned the titles that women carry, such as “Mrs.” or “Miss.” on page 143. I never really took notice to this until I read this section. I feel that the fact that women specify whether or not they are married by simply their title is perhaps the one of the biggest ways that women are marked by society, as they are answering a question by simply writing their name. Men do not share this problem, as the title “Mr.” is the same for all men whether they are married or not. I feel that if a woman wants to use the title “Dr.”, it is seen as a a bigger deal than if a man wanted to use the same title. The next hotspot that caught my eye was on page 145, the section that talked about when Deborah Tannen was on a talk show. She had taken steps to ensure that she did not sound like a Gender Feminist in writing a book about gender differences, but was still painted as a Gender Feminist simply because she was a woman saying things about men.

There are a lot of examples where I did not fit into my gender's role, primarily because I am a nerd, and I don't really fit in with the normal male stereotype. One big example was my high school's homecoming, which I managed to avoid for my first three years but got coerced into going by my friends in my senior year. The funniest thing is that I went the entire night without dancing once, instead I managed to basically spend the entire night talking to people who I never really talked to during school. I didn't really stand to gain or lose anything, except I did feel rather uncomfortable. Me being there was akin to releasing a freshwater fish into the dead sea, the environment simply does not agree with the individual. I wasn't in any real danger either, and I was no different when I walked out of there from when I walked in. I can't say I really regret the experience, as I lost nothing by being there, but I did learn that my belief that I would not have fun at a dance was true. I'm not saying that homecoming or prom are wastes of time, they just aren't my idea of a good time. This is because I prefer to have a small group of close friends as opposed to a large number of people who I barely know. I know that most people they're probably had a good time and if I wasn't such a solitary person I might have as well.

Writing Log 1B

In “Real Men Don’t: Anti-Male Bias in English” by Eugene August, there were two “hotspots” that really jumped out at me more than others. The first “hotspot” that I noticed was on page 131 “Every responsible study of domestic violence from 1970’s to the present has reported significant numbers of violent women and battered men, but gender feminists fastly deny the existence of abusive women and abused men.” I chose this because I found this quote very shocking upon reading it because of the media you only really ever hear of men being the abusers. When I began to think about it though it makes sense, women are just as capable as men to cause harm to another being. It also shocks me to read this because when ever you hear statistics about abuse it is typically about how many women are abused each year and how many children are abused but you never seem to hear about the men that are being abused. When you read the police reports in the paper you always tend to see where a women called the cops on her significant other for abusing her but you never see anything about men calling it in if they are being abused.

The second “hotspot” that came to my attention was on page 137 “When a male and female are suspected of a crime the male is usually presumed the guilty party.” I chose this because I feel that this is sadly and shockingly true. If you ever watch dateline or 20/20 or any of those type of shows you will probably notice a pattern of men constantly being murders. From time to time you notice that they will say that a women was suspected but never charged, and if she was present at the murder she claims that the man lied to her or even forced her to be there but had no idea that he was going to kill someone. I think that people just come to the conclusion that men are more capable of murder but the reality is that women are just as capable as men. Once my grandma told me that women don’t shot guns because it’s not something ladies do. But its not true ladies do shot guns and women do poison people, and they even kill, but all they have to do to get out of it is to say they were forced or that person abused them and they are off the hook. These two “hotspots” are a sad reality of the way we view abuse and murder in our world today.

In “There is No Unmarked Woman” by Deborah Tannen there were two “hotspots that I really noticed. The first “hotspot” that I came across was on page 141 “The men’s styles were unmarked.” I chose this because I very much disagree with this statement. I believe that no matter what no one is unmarked. If the men were just in a simple and business like manner it was because that is was is expected of them. And just because she felt that were just plainly doesn’t mean that someone else would not have noticed them. Not only that different settings require different ways of dress, so if they were dress in a so called “unmarked” fashion it was just because they had to, and because when it comes to business dress as she even explained women have many more options than men do.

The second “hotspot” that I came across what on page 145 and it is the part were she is talking about being on a talk show and a man in the audience when being asked if he was being bashed; “He answered with disarming honesty. ‘Because she’s a women and she’s saying things about men.” I chose this because before this was said he basically said that he agreed with the things being said that she wrote but since she was a women then she was bashing him. I think this is very upsetting in away because it is like saying that only men can talk about men or its just plain wrong. But in the last essay you read about women at times and it was wrote by a man and this wasn’t considered bashing women in any way. I feel that this was a very chauvinist thing to say, and says a lot bout how people perceive gender in a way.

Hot Spots: Log1B

I found my first hot spot on page 151; August quotes, “Although males have already won court cases of sexual harassment against female bosses, sexual harassment is still widely defined as “harassment of women by men.” As much men are more commonly known with sexual harassment, I personally wouldn’t say that sexual harassment is defined as “harassment of women by men.” My second hot spot was also found on page 131. “Crime knows no gender.” I completely agree with this statement quotes by a reporter in this reading. I have chose this hot spot because as much as there is a stereotype towards males, every day in society there is crime within both genders.

My third hot spot was found on page 142. “Alfre Woodard, who was an Oscar nominee for best supporting actress, says she identifies herself as an actor because “actresses worry about eye-lashes and cellulite and women who are actors worry about the characters we are playing.” Most actress would call themselves an actress displaying their role in feminism, Alfre being an individual women marks herself as an actor, supporting her role as unmarked. My fourth hot spot was found on page 143. “Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves.” Tannen explains how even their title such as “Mrs., or Miss” gives the unmarked feature to them. That quote relates to my third quote by defending her opinion how now to women are the same. I agree with both quotes in this writing.

Hotspots.

While reading Real Men Don't: Anti-Male Bias in English, the first hotspot I found was on page 130. It reads: "Gender feminist groups lobbied successfully in Congress for a Violence Against Women Act, even though American males are almost twice as likely as females to be victims of violent crimes (even when rape is included in the tally)..." This particular statement shocked me a little bit. I had never really thought about why there is not an act called Violence against Men Act. There never will be such a thing. I do not believe that it is wrong to have an act to help stop the violence against women, but I do not understand why there is only one for women, and not one for men. It does not seem fair, especially when more violent crimes are against men than women. Another hot spot that I found in this section appears on page 137. It reads: "When sexism is defined as "contempt for women" -as if there were no such thing as contempt for men- the definition of sexism itself is sexist." This is another statement that I have never really thought about in-depth. Whenever I have heard the word "sexist," I always think of it meaning sexism against women. I never realized that even me thinking that, is sexist. Sexism is not about women being victimized. It is about an inequality between men and women. Who said that it is always the men's fault? I am sure that a lot of people think of sexism as being geared toward a man insulting a woman. Well that is not how it always is.

While reading There Is No Unmarked Woman, the first hotspot that I found was on page 142. It reads: "Although no man wore makeup, you couldn't say the men didn't wear makeup in the sense that you could say a woman didn't wear makeup. For men, no makeup is unmarked." When I read this part of the book, I knew exactly what Deborah Tannen was talking about. When I wake up in the morning for class, I have to choose whether or not I want to wear makeup. Men do not have to make this decision. If a woman decides, for what ever reason, to not wear makeup one day, she may be viewed as "lazy" or "unkempt." There is not an option that a woman can choose that will be viewed as unmarked. Another hotspot that I found in this section is on page 143. It reads: "All married women's surnames are marked." I also agree with this. In almost all cases, the man just keeps his last name and nothing changes. There is nothing about the man's name that would communicate any information about his relationship status to anyone. While if a woman changes her last name she is judged, if she does not change her last name she is judged, and if she combines the two last names, she is judged. Any and all things that women do is judged. Maybe it is just the nature of the women. I do believe that I judge other people, and I believe that other people judge me. It is unfair though, that there is not much that we can do about it. The way we do our hair, the clothes we wear, the makeup we wear, all say something about our personality, even if we don't want them to. I believe that if there was a way that it would be possible, many women would chose to be unmarked.

Hot Spots

In the essay "Real Men Don't: Anti-Male Bias in English", the first hot spot I found is where Marilyn French states "All men are rapists, and they are." I disagree with this statement one hundred percent. It is sad to say but the word rapist does make you think of a man and it gives them a bad reputation. Females can just as easily sexually assault a male. A small percentage of reported rapes are women, and many men who are raped are too embarrassed to report a situation like this. The other one I found is how in the English language, many of the law-breakers titles suggest that it is a male suspect rather than a female suspect. English automatically has a suggestion that males are the guilty suspect no matter what the crime is. Even the word suspect suggests that it was a male rather than a female. In one situation, they actually found fingerprints in the victim’s car and still presumed the male guilty. This is outrageous and makes the male population look much worse than it actually should.
In the essay "There Is No Unmarked Woman" the first hot spot I found is that males were unmarked. I think that males can be just as marked as females. They can have different clothing styles as well. Their shirts, shoes, and pants can say a lot about the person. Also, hairstyles can make someone make an unfair stereotype of a male as well. The second hot spot I found is where she sent the manuscript to five male colleagues, asking them to alert her to any interpretation, phrasing, or wording that might seem unfairly negative towards men. She then went on a television talk show and a male nodded in agreement to her bashing males. He said that he agreed with everything that she had to say but since it was a female talking about males, she was bashing them. However, he did not seem to think that she drew any unfair conclusions about them. He then made himself look stupid in front of the whole show because he make a terrible point.

"Hot Spot" Writing Blog 1B

       One hotspot that I had found after reading this section was “male conspiracy to keep women in their place” found on page 129. This stuck out to me because growing up I have noticed and heard in many instances that males will do anything to keep their manhood as well as prove to everyone that they have more power over women. They perform negative and significant acts to keep women in their place. They feel as though they have more control over women, and women should do what the men say. I do see this as wrong, men shouldn’t have to go out of their way to put anyone in their place, whether it is women, children or people of their work. Although I disagree with this statement, I agree that men attempt unlawful acts to keep women in their place.

            The second hotspot I found in “Real Men Don’t” is “men control their language and that they use it to define women and women’s roles as inferior” found on page 129. I have found that especially in college, students are getting creative in their language to put others down, or even to compliment others. Men tend to use degrading words to put women down. In class on Monday we talked about words that people use to show that they are inferior. For an example, men use the term “bitch” to define a women to put them down. When they use words like this it makes them feel as if they are at a higher power. When men use words like this to me, I don’t see them as inferior I see them as weak. People put others down to make them feel better about themselves. 

            The third statement that stood out to me the most was “Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes” on page 143. This stuck out to me the most because this little decision actually tells a lot about someone’s personality along with their willingness to impress. Women’s wardrobe coming into an interview is one of the first things that people will judge about you. If you have on a stunning suit with flats that don’t tell a statement, they will wonder why you didn’t take an extra step to go with the appropriate heal that matches the outfit. Men are only expected to wear dark, closed toed shoes when it comes to business and professional attire. They are not given an option but at the same time it’s the standard shoe for a male.

             The fourth statement that caught my attention was “I asked myself what style we women could have adopted that would have been unmarked, like the men’s. The answer was none. There is no unmarked women” stated on page 142. This is interesting to me because this is a very true statement. Not even one hairstyle is considered to be standard for all women. Everyone is different in every way, but women seem to differ more with the options and choices they can choose from. There is no standard outfit for women to wear to a meeting, to school, or even to take your children to the park. This creates difficulty and also the title for women to be “marked”.