My first “hotspot” from “Real Men Don’t” was on page 131. Written down was, “gender feminists steadfastly deny the existence of abusive women and abused men.” I don’t understand how a gender feminist wishes to get any respect or recognition in our world when they do not think objectively. Studies have proven that men can and are abused by women, whether by their wife or mother. But to completely deny that any such behavior exists is crazy. Gender feminism would be much more accepted if it didn’t act so black and white.
The second “hotspot” I came across was Paul Theroux’s explanation on page 134 about how “to be a man” means “Be stupid, be unfeeling, obedient and soldierly, and stop thinking.” I couldn’t agree more. When I’ve been told “Be a man” it has never meant to mean “be more courteous, be more patient, and be more empathic.” It always means “Toughen up, stop crying, work hard.” Because in our world that is what being a man is, you must be big and strong and athletic. Men can’t feel fear or love, even though those are basic emotions that all humans share.
My “hotspot” in Tannen’s essay was on page 143 when she talked about “Mr.” and its meaning as opposed to “Miss” or Mrs.” I understand what she is saying. Ultimately I do not see it as a big deal but it is a little puzzling why men only have one condition and women could have two. Why isn’t there a “Miss” to go along with “Mr.”? It’s very interesting. Tannen mentions how she refers to herself as “Dr.” on paperwork and how that could be interpreted as being uppity or as being an overachiever. I agree with that, but the same could be said about a man who calls himself “Dr.” and not “Mr.” It reminds me of one of my childhood friend’s father who is a doctor and wouldn’t let anyone call him “Mr.” I’ve always thought that was uppity of him. If I were a doctor I wouldn’t make people call me “Dr.” It’s like, “Look at me, I’m smarter and make better money.” I especially wouldn’t make my son’s friends call me “Dr.”
My second “hotspot” was about Fasold’s theory on how men are born with modified female bodies and women born with fully female bodies. He uses the X and Y chromosomes to prove his point. And then he brought up the question, “Why do men have nipples?” That got me thinking. In class you said men can lactate, which blew my mind! But just because we have nipples, does that make us more biologically womanly? Couldn’t women be more biologically manly because they have nipples? Couldn’t nipples be a shared trait and just simply more unmarked for women?
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