When reading Eugene R. August’s Real Men Don’t, I stumbled across my first “hotspot” fairly early. On page 131 he states, “A woman who kills her male partner can plead the Battered Woman’s Syndrom, a man who kills (or even defends himself against) a violent female partner cannot plead the Battered Man’s Syndrom.” I think this is terrible. If a man is being abused in a relationship, which is not unheard of, he should have the right to defend himself. I realize the text takes it to an extreme level when the word “kills” is inputted, but I am focusing more on the abuse before hand. If a woman says her husband has beaten her, she receives hugs, words of encouragement and a group of friends who want to confront the husband. Now imagine a very different scene of a male telling his friends he was being beaten by his wife. I can imagine there would be a few awkward glances shared, he might not even be taken seriously. The world says males must be the strong and protective gender, not showing emotion or pain. It would take a lot of courage for a man to talk about being abused. My next “hotspot” was located on page 134 and states: “As our boy grows, he faces threats and taunts if he does not take risks or endure pain to prove his manhood.” Socially, the things that are “cool” for males usually are attached to some type of danger or pain. Among these are, tattoos, brands, fast cars, motorcycles, football and even lifting causes pain. If a man is afraid to do something “cool” he is labeled as a girl, bitch, pussy or fag. This has probably happened to the majority of males, and most cave into that pressure and complete the task anyways.
In the writing There Is No Unmarked Woman, by Deborah Tannen, I found a “hotspot” on page 142 when the writer is analyzing everyone in the room. She states, “Each of the women at the conference had to make decisions about hair, clothing, makeup, and accessories, and each decision carried a meaning.” An example of this is the saying “dumb blonde” or “blondes have more fun”. If one follows this saying, then just because a woman has blonde hair they are stupid and fun. I don’t think there has ever been a study linking hair color to intelligence and how much fun a person has. I can agree that clothes and accessories express personality though. I have found that most girls who wear big jewelry usually have a big and vibrant personality. Also, if a woman is wearing something very bright in color they usually have a lot of confidence and like to be paid attention to. Another topic caught my eye in the reading, “Mr. carries no meaning other than that he is a respondent male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only has she been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in form of address…” (143). I think this stems from the old thought that all woman just want to meet a man, get married, and take care of the family. A title lets the male population know if the woman is single or married, this could either mean she is still looking for a husband, or state she has already been claimed and is off limits. Personally, I don’t think this is a problem, but it does not affect the male gender in a big way.
I am originally from Hilliard, Ohio, which is very close to downtown Columbus and Ohio State University’s campus. Over our brake I spent a lot of time on campus going to the bars and clubs located there. One night a couple of my guy friends and I asked a group of girls to come with us. The line was very long and we were waiting outside for about fifteen minutes when the bouncer looked at the girls with us and motioned for them to go in. They looked at us and we told them to go ahead in, through fake smiles. We eventually got in almost half an hour later and met up with the girls again. All of us acted cool outside but it bothered us. The bouncer told us we were all waiting outside because the club was at capacity, and then he let our friends in. It didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me; did girls not count for the occupancy limit? It is not a good feeling when you see friends doing something but you are not allowed to. There was literally a gate keeping me from going inside and I was forced to wait. I completely understand that is how clubs work, because you don’t want it to be filled with all guys, but being on the other end it is hurtful.
No comments:
Post a Comment